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aDRi
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Dołączył: 28 Wrz 2005
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Skąd: Częstochowa / Katowice
Pon 17:17, 01 Cze 2009
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teraz zrozumiecie dlaczego odszedł i wcześniej się nie pożegnał. Czuję się teraz jakby odszedł mój kumpel. W sumie "był ze mną " 10 lat w radosnych i smutnych chwilach mojego życia. Oto oficjalne pożegnanie.
| Lupus napisał: | Many of you wondered when I would say anything about me leaving the band and at first, I really wanted to say something immediately. The more I thought about it though, the more I wanted some time to think about what I wanted to say to all of you. After all, I had 14 years with some of you, the least I could do is try and give you a good answer.
I told Jim about my desire to leave awhile ago and we had a bit of discussion about it. Jim never asked me to stay nor told me to leave. He let me think about it for awhile. I think he knew that there would always be a part of me that would regret my decision in one form or another. I don't know if regret is the right word, but there is a part of me that misses it all.
I left the band for one simple reason. I don't mean to sound all artsy fartsy about it, but the fact is, I had lost my passion for it all. I loved my time on stage every show we ever played (except when being pelted by things or when I was sick as a dog - and even then, there was a certain enjoyment). That hour or so was the greatest high you can imagine. I've explained it in the past as feeling like a god. I don't know how a god feels, but I have to take a shot at it and say it has to be somewhere close to looking out on a crowd and seeing all the people going nuts because of something you're doing. A feeling like no other that's for sure.
My passion wasn't lost on being on stage, but I felt I had become a bit robotic. Wake up, eat, play the show, drink beer, repeat. I didn't feel I was putting 100% into it anymore and I have always believed that the people who pay good money to come to shows deserve at least 100%. Sure, no show would ever be perfect, but at least we should get the A for effort. I'm not really sure of what caused the feeling in me, but I just knew it was there. This kind of zombie like walk through tours became routine and it wasn't doing me, the band, or you any good.
The band and I had our ups and downs over the years. Fights, friendships, and all the stuff that comes with being locked in a mobile hallway for months at a time. None of those things affected me too much. Sometimes I got pissed and swore I hated Jim, Jared, or Q, but after a good night of sleep, it all seemed to wear off and we were back to being normal again. We all had our moments where we thought we couldn't deal with each other anymore, but in the end, we all stuck together.
I just felt that I wasn't contributing to the band anymore, instead I was just doing my job. Punching the clock and going to work. No one gets in a band to do that. Being in a band is much more than just a job, even though you have to treat it like one. Touring had become a bit of a drag to me and although I loved playing, I hated the rest of it. The countless hours spent staring at walls and having the same conversations over and over again. The waking up at 4am to get a flight by 6am in order to just barely make a show in a field in the middle of nowhere. The endless cups of cheap coffee that never tasted good, but were all you had to wake up with. Most people would kill to experience that, and I'm glad I did, but I suspect many would tire of it after some time.
When Jim and I discussed my leaving I made it clear to him that there was no hard feelings (ouch, no pun intended) or any ill will. In fact, I have read every review I could, checked out every photo, and will buy the record when it hits the shelves. I hope they make the best damn Bloodhound Gang record that's ever been made and they move up the ladder of rock and roll success. I want them to succeed without me, if only for the fact that they deserve it for hanging in there longer than I could. I think we all experienced the best of what being in a band could entail, but if there's more out there, I want them to have it. It will only help me prove my point that I felt I wasn't contributing to the success anymore.
I will miss hanging out with many of you. Some I know better than some of my friends. You guys were always fun and entertaining, even JohnMerrick, and I can think of many stories that I will tell people over the years about a funny night or something cool someone did for me or how chatting with one of you made my day when I was having a shitty one. I'll definitely miss the chance of constantly meeting so many different people from different countries and spending a few moments (or hours) hanging out. One of the perks of touring if you ask me.
When the band hits San Antonio someday, look for me in the crowd, watching and singing along with the rest of you. It'll be nice to see the band from your perspective for the first time (something I always said I wish I could do). You're in capable hands with Daniel P. Carter. I saw many of the reviews and I have to say, his playing will always beat mine (he's an awesome guitar player). We're different in style in many ways, but I think he's got the skill to make the band even better. I hope he stays with the band. Perhaps they should call the band "A Bloodhound Gang" now, since 2/5 of the members are our old friends from A.
I'll check back on this post in case anyone asks any questions I can answer or anything, but until then....thanks. I had a blast and I owe it to many of you. |
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Ostatnio zmieniony przez aDRi dnia Pon 17:19, 01 Cze 2009, w całości zmieniany 1 raz
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